Trusting when stuff gets in the way

Right now I am sitting in the very awkward position of trying to sell a house that is upside down on it's mortgage. At the same time as I am trying to purchase a house. 

For those of you who have been in this In-between position you realize that it is really easy to loose your focus, to get distracted by the wants desires and sympathies for our money or for other people or for a material thing that we might like. Our focus needs to be at all times on honoring God.  And yet we can start getting focused so easily on the number of zeros.

The other factor for me is that for me I am tempted to either seek the best for my self, or make unwise choices to please people and keep others happy. Either way I am tempted to place my comfort or the approval of others in a more important place than living shrewdly and lovingly for the glory of God.

Easily distracted, practicing repentance.

Anticipation

Anticipation can be a wonderful thing and it can be a very difficult experience in learning to trust God for a future as yet unknown and dreaded. 

On the eve of battle and on the verge of a birth, the feelings are mixed because the out come is yet unknown and could be a bitter and painful experience.

And yet we are told by God that worry is a sin. Because in some way the moment we place a dreaded possibility in the position to control our thoughts haunt our every waking moment and intimidate us into not doing what God has called is to do we have replaced God as the supreme focus of our lives.

But keeping in the peace of God is beyond our skill. And thus we must pray.

This is a God thing.

In other words:  There is no way this is going to work without making a mess, unless God . . .

That sentence can be filled with a good number of things, but whatever that thing is you want to have some kind of clarity about it before you commit. But clarity in discerning the will of God is often not a matter of blinding flashes of light and dreams in the night, but more a choice made in real time based on what you know of God and his ways.

We must watch our desires, those of course can make us pray and interpret life for our own ends (see James) but in the end we are called to make choices in context in good faith, and understanding that God is good.

And that is when we make crazy looking commitments because we believe that for God's glory we can be extravagant. That is when we can throw caution to the wind, once we are assured in our own heart (1 John 4) that we see a thing that is otherwise legitimate, and can be used to his glory.

And of course in the end God is not a killjoy, he does slow hardship be he enjoys our reveling in his good gifts, so long as we first enjoy the giver.

Confidence

There are times when we are forced to reckon with ourselves. And at such times if we are honest we can be at the same time equal to great things, and unworthy of the smallest things. God makes us for a purpose and that purpose is rarely small, though it be mundane our lives are intended to have meaning that extends way beyond the common life. And yet in spite of our potential there is no man on earth who can say they have what it takes to be great let alone achieve it because our hearts are broken. 

In times like these we are reminded that God alone can take men of earth and shape men of heaven. Only God can transform talent into worship. Only God can take our small skill and multiply it with his grace. 

When we must honestly face ourselves we see our need for God.

Hit by a squirrel

It was a beautiful foggy day this morning for my run. And with spring in the air the animals are out in force. On my run I pass a house with two little yapper dogs, who like to charge the fence when I come by. As I come by the house this morning I hear the dogs start to yap, and notice that about 10 feet up there is a brown lump near the fence. One step later the lump wiggles and I realize it is the hind end of a squirrel sticking out of a drain pipe where he is trying to grab one of last years nuts or something. One step more and the squirrel hears dogs and feet coming his direction and begins to back out of the pipe. My mind starts to put up warning signs about stepping on and getting bit by a rabid pipe-dwelling squirrel, in the split second before my foot lands 24 inches from the wriggling behind. My foot hits the ground. Out of the last shred of peripheral vision I see the side of the squirrel as he finally has his head out of the pipe and is adrenalin charged to make a break for the tree he knows is three feet from him directly across the side-walk. I lose sight of the squirrel as I pivot my squirrel-side leg to catch my weight in the next stride and all of a sudden I feel the full weight of turbocharged squirrel. Slam into my leg as it comes across. The impact happens just as my leg is next to the other so my foot bounces off my other leg and clumsily lands without tripping me, and the very confused squirrel staggers to the tree to make a getaway.

Little Guy

Both big brothers are sleeping, but here we are

Hispanic church

Just got back from Cedarville U and a brief time with Sammy Rodriguez. While I suspect that for many people broadly evangelical is a term way too loose for comfort, I think that the biggest challenge for me is to remember to do "both". We need theological depth and integrity, and we need to remember the poor the stranger and the out-cast. To do only one is to do neither.

Snow!

Snow day today!

Margin for snuggles

I have gotten partway through the book 'Margin' and I find it an interesting and helpful view on our ever busy and stressed society. We have bought the lie that more, bigger, faster and mobile and more frequent is better.

The reality is that I need the warning. I am writing this post while "snuggling" with one of my boys. But snuggling isn't the same with attention split two ways. So I think I will shut down and go back to snuggling. I do have some room in my schedule today.